“I was raised to be exceptional, a standout, a star. Now all I want is to be a reed.”
There’s something deeply calming about the shift from performance toward participation. From trying to stand above everything to becoming part of something larger than yourself.
I also loved the idea that ego can show up both in overpowering a room and hiding from it. That distinction felt really honest.
And the ending was powerful because it turns individuality into contribution instead of competition:
“Listen until you sense an opening, a space that only you can fill. Then step forward and fill it.”
Thank you so much, Keli, for this thoughtful comment. I appreciate the deep reading and reflection. It was a revelation for me too to realize that holding back your voice can also be a manifestation of ego, just in a different way.
Tanya, such beautiful reflections on honoring our voice- channeling that voice of the divine. Your essay reminded me of how much I loved singing in the LA Women's Community Chorus from the late 70s into the 80s. We were 80 women strong, who were not professional singers, performing songs written, arranged and sung by women to share songs and stories that were often unrecognized. Those moments of harmony when all of us were in unison, each playing our own parts were pure joy.
I love the way you describe the dual dangers of ego — that you’ll take up space that’s needed for something else or not fill the space that needs your sound — and I concur that vocal improv is a beautiful container to practice this skill in — we get such immediate feedback for when it works or doesn’t!
Great essay, Tanya, and yes yes yes I love group vocal improvisation as a spiritual practice!!! Do you know of any classes/groups specifically in the Bay Area doing this? I know of one teacher, but she only holds a group once a month…
Hi @Alison! So glad you enjoyed it! I think I already told you about Noe Venable, who is in the South Bay. And you may know that Bobby McFerrin does an event at the Freight and Salvage every Monday at noon. Those events are more performance oriented, but they do have some participation from the group. (That one’s a bit pricey, though, at $40 for tickets). Check out this link for some other ideas: https://inthevoices.com/events/ There’s a guy named David Worm who performs with Bobby McFerrin and is amazing. I know he leads some groups. If you want, I can see about connecting you with a Bay Area friend of mine who I know goes to a lot of these events.
I’ve been to the Freight and seen Bobby—he is magical—but was looking for a more intimate committed group experience similar to what you describe—someplace where the same people show up week after week to do this thing together, and in the process develop that improvisational telepathy that is so satisfying <3
Such a beautiful and inspiring piece. So many of us struggle with "ego," whether to push forward or hold back, both questions motivated by how we want to be seen by others. The image of the reed offers a way to be ourselves as a member of a group, by joining the song. Thank you!
This was beautiful.
“I was raised to be exceptional, a standout, a star. Now all I want is to be a reed.”
There’s something deeply calming about the shift from performance toward participation. From trying to stand above everything to becoming part of something larger than yourself.
I also loved the idea that ego can show up both in overpowering a room and hiding from it. That distinction felt really honest.
And the ending was powerful because it turns individuality into contribution instead of competition:
“Listen until you sense an opening, a space that only you can fill. Then step forward and fill it.”
Really thoughtful and grounding piece.
Thank you so much, Keli, for this thoughtful comment. I appreciate the deep reading and reflection. It was a revelation for me too to realize that holding back your voice can also be a manifestation of ego, just in a different way.
Tanya, such beautiful reflections on honoring our voice- channeling that voice of the divine. Your essay reminded me of how much I loved singing in the LA Women's Community Chorus from the late 70s into the 80s. We were 80 women strong, who were not professional singers, performing songs written, arranged and sung by women to share songs and stories that were often unrecognized. Those moments of harmony when all of us were in unison, each playing our own parts were pure joy.
Oh, that sounds amazing! Thank you for sharing. What a fabulous image: 80 women singing together! ❤️
I love the way you describe the dual dangers of ego — that you’ll take up space that’s needed for something else or not fill the space that needs your sound — and I concur that vocal improv is a beautiful container to practice this skill in — we get such immediate feedback for when it works or doesn’t!
Thanks so much, Patricia! And what a delight to get to sing with you. ❤️
Great essay, Tanya, and yes yes yes I love group vocal improvisation as a spiritual practice!!! Do you know of any classes/groups specifically in the Bay Area doing this? I know of one teacher, but she only holds a group once a month…
Hi @Alison! So glad you enjoyed it! I think I already told you about Noe Venable, who is in the South Bay. And you may know that Bobby McFerrin does an event at the Freight and Salvage every Monday at noon. Those events are more performance oriented, but they do have some participation from the group. (That one’s a bit pricey, though, at $40 for tickets). Check out this link for some other ideas: https://inthevoices.com/events/ There’s a guy named David Worm who performs with Bobby McFerrin and is amazing. I know he leads some groups. If you want, I can see about connecting you with a Bay Area friend of mine who I know goes to a lot of these events.
Thanks, Tanya—yes I know about Bobby McF and David Worm. I’d forgotten about Noe Venable—thx for the reminder!
I’ve been to the Freight and seen Bobby—he is magical—but was looking for a more intimate committed group experience similar to what you describe—someplace where the same people show up week after week to do this thing together, and in the process develop that improvisational telepathy that is so satisfying <3
Thank you Tanya!! Remember me ? I am still writing and am a lifelong musician so I can relate to your story. Wonderful 🎶🎶😍
Hi Brenda! Of course I remember you! Thanks for the kind words. So glad you enjoyed the piece! 😊
Such a beautiful and inspiring piece. So many of us struggle with "ego," whether to push forward or hold back, both questions motivated by how we want to be seen by others. The image of the reed offers a way to be ourselves as a member of a group, by joining the song. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Meta!! ❤️
What a beautiful reflection on a marvelously terrifying and uplifting practice.
Thanks so much! It is somewhat terrifying, it's true—especially at first.
So beautiful, Tanya!
Thanks so much, Leanne!
Dude I love this SO MUCH. And some day I hope to get to do this.
Thanks so much, friend! I bet you'll love it when you give it a try! It's definitely addictive.